Fitting in by Standing Out

Never forget that you were created to be an original! There is not another you in the entirety of history. The world will be a much better place with you as an original instead of a copy. We need more voices and less echoes in the world today. Be and Original! Be a Voice! I hope that today you become all that you were meant to be and not merely go through the routine that everyone else is going in. You are worth so much more, and you deserve so much more than merely blending into the mass noise that attempts to drown you out. You are an original masterpiece. Be an original. I have twins, but no matter how identical I try to make them, they have been uniquely and wonderfully made to be different.

Many people spend their whole lives trying to fit in to a mold or a rat race which is a box that actually limits your creativity  ingenuity and entrepreneur spirit. What would happen if you became the norm, the measure of success, the standard by which all others were gauged by? What if instead of you trying to fit into everyone else’s mode that they were trying to be like you? I want to encourage you that it is possible to stand out even while fitting in. People often think that in order to stand out you have to be weird, abnormal or crazy but I think that there are always fringes that try to distort the true meaning of uniqueness. You can stand out in your integrity, your character, your love, your commitment and your goals. You can stand out in your drive for perfection, cohesiveness, unity an charisma. You can stand out in the crowd while fitting into the organization, community, church or career that you have chosen. Your good works will stand out even while you fit in. Never become so engrossed in one way of doing things that you lose your ability to think of something totally different. It is not just thinking outside the box, sometimes it is thinking inside the box. Try to fit in where you have been planted and flourish there. Try to use your gifts, talents and abilities to better the lives that are around you. This will definitely cause you to stand out from others. Thinking about others first is not a common practice so when people learn that this is how you operate, you will stand out in their minds. People will want you to be a part of their group and will go out of their way to include you, support you or even promote you.  Fit in by standing out!

Remember the times when you found yourself standing out from others, like when you first realized that your voice was changing while other guys voices were remaining the same; or the time when you started excelling in algebra when others were still struggling with simple equations; or when your desires for something greater started to push you further and further away from those who were just satisfied to be a part of the sidelines looking in. You wanted to still fit in because you didn’t want people to look at you strange to not include you because you were different. You began standing out from the crowd and it felt uncomfortable but what you didn’t realize was that you were growing  expanding and developing. You were no longer being confined to the limitations that once rightfully had you constrained. And even though you wanted to stay a part of the pack, you were glad to moving forward. There was something encouraging about standing out and moving forward. This goes to show you that no matter how good being a part of the group is you still want to retain your individuality. This is a strength so use it don’t lose it.

I think that it is important to point out that fitting in should never require you to abandon who you really are. You should never compromise the real you to become someone who you are not. You have culture, beliefs and values that make you fearfully and wonderfully YOU. If we were all meant to be the same then we would all look-alike, act-alike and strive to be-alike and to me, that would be a boring world. There are some norms that enable us to a have a civil society and I am glad for that but I also appreciate that our uniqueness is an asset and not a liability. Your spouse, your children, family, co-workers, employers and friends like you for who you are. Go out today and do something great that stands out in their mind that reminds them why they love you so much, or like you so much, or want to be around you so much. Let your actions and your attitude be a constant reminder to all that you are an original and worth spending time with. Fit in today but also Stand Out!

Eric Smith

Can you Be Right and still Wrong

There is an art to Humility. Can you always be right 100% of the time? Do people around you think that you think you are right 100% of the time?  There are some  people who look to always be right at the expense of others. They look or aspire to always be first and to always come out on top, never want to push someone elses agenda or want to see someone else win. This type of attitude can hinder your growth and development and keep people from wanting to follow you. I have learned in my experience that Giving up ‘BEING RIGHT” has been very valuable and has produced some great results. By giving up the right to be right is a very humbling experience. We don’t really like being humble because Being Humble means that I am Being Vulnerable. This type of vulnerability is hard to handle because it puts us in a position of feeling weak or looking like a loser. But little do we know that being humble is of great strength. We have been bred to believe that we are the best and no one is better, but my dad would   say if you live a little longer and put some time to a thing, you will see that the easiest way up, is going down (being humble). When you give up the right to being right 100% of the time, you actually free yourself to be more creative, more inviting and more open to someone elses point of view.

Not everyone really knows about being humble. As a matter of fact, if they really knew what being humble meant they probably would not even want to do it. Doing what you do not want to do is a hard thing to do. Sacrificing what you want, for what someone else wants is unpopular because it requires a sacrifice, and the last thing that a self-centered, egotistical person wants to do is to lose, so someone else can win. Now to the prideful mind – going up by going down,  does not make any sense, or advancing by letting others advance first can seem like wrong idea. But when you place yourself in a position to humble yourself, in due time you will be exalted, lifted up and brought before great people. No one wants to be around people who always feel that they have to right. These type of people never admit their mistakes, never admit their failures and never want to appear vulnerable. I have found that as a leader, the more transparent I am, the more approachable I am, the more I place myself in a supportive role to those with whom I lead, it gives me the integrity and support that I desire.  Being humble is leading from a strong position.

Ask yourself, do you have to get the credit for all of the victories or are you more concerned with whether or not the whole team succeed?. Winning, while remaining humble, will make you stand out in a crowd because it is rare. When it doesn’t matter who gets the credit, the glory or the trophy, but that we all make it to the desired goal; safely, without suffering loss; this is more important and more attractive to people. Even when you know the right answer or even when you know the correct response and the team doesn’t go along with your program, trying to maintain your “Rightness” at the expense of others, can be detrimental. Sometimes people will come up with the same conclusion as you do, it just takes them a little time. Even in business, there is a motto “the customer is always right”. This motto has come about because someone has realized that they could win the fight but lose the battle. A good leader, spouse or boss understands that at the end of the day, what is the goal – “peace”.  Peace should be the goal, the accomplishment, the win, harmony, togetherness or whatever other word that describes the end result. If this is the goal or the prize that you are reaching for, being right can still mean that you are wrong, if the other person does not feel that they have won as well.

One of the things that I like about humility is that “Humble People don’t think less of themselves, but they just think of themselves – less”. I am not saying that being humble is easy, but it is definitely worth it. If you take the time to be focused on other people, their goals, their desires, their dreams; other people will be focused on you. So the next time you have a disagreement with someone, remember, you can Be Right but still Be Wrong. Learn the art of humility and you will grow more than you will ever know.

Eric Smith